Since participating in the Outreach/WGI workshop, Seandor has written two pieces for the Outreach blog about his experience as an LGBTQ Catholic. Read them, and our interview with him below!
As a young gay Catholic, I equated sexuality with sin. Then I learned to let go.
I find God in my gay relationship. What does “Fiducia Supplicans” mean for us?
1. What is your earliest memory of writing?
When I was very little, I wrote a fantasy story that was basically copying C.S. Lewis’s writing in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. I think that’s normal, to mimic at first. I was in high school when I first used my own voice. I wrote a short story called George, about three people who lay three lonely flowers on the casket of a man who worked as a janitor. It was philosophical and simple. It took this small moment and made it about everything. I got a lot of praise for it. My teacher made me read it out loud and it was sent to the Scholastic Writing competition. I got one taste of external validation and thought: “Yes, please.”
2. What/Who inspires your writing?
I love observant writing and always felt comforted by work that normalizes the human experience, the type of writing that makes me say “oh, that’s so true.” At first, I wrote with an eye towards publishing. That was a bad way to start. Then, I had to write a spiritual autobiography for this spiritual program I was involved with. I have always been a journal-er and I basically translated my private scribbling into something more polished. The approach of self-disclosure brought my work to life. To use some “therapy speak,” I started writing in “I statements” and focusing on the things I’m already obsessed with rather than writing for others. Now my writing tends to focus on the things I can’t help but think about: religion, spirituality, family and sexuality. I’m obsessive by nature. If I didn’t have a nice, neat container for all of these thoughts, it wouldn’t be good for anyone.
3. What are some of your favorite books, TV shows, movies?
I first fell in love with writing while reading David Sedaris. I love that his writing doesn’t call attention to the language. He writes like he speaks and the content jumped out to me more than the style. A friend once told me that he felt that Sedaris’s work is too simple; like anyone could write it. I thought – yeah, the illusion of ease is what makes it so good! It’s not aware of itself. The humor sneaks up on you and you always think: Why didn’t I notice that?
I grew up in a big family and Sedaris captured that feeling of what it’s like to be on the inside of this pack of humans that no one else can quite understand. He balances truth and compassion so well. He says the realest stuff about his family but I never doubt that he loves them. That’s what writing with love is to me; appreciating even the dark parts.
I love the vulnerability of spiritual writers like Mary Karr, Barbra Brown Taylor, James Martin and Henri Nouwen. As a spiritual practice, I listen to Mary Karry’s episode of On Being once a year. I love that she sounds on the page like she does on a podcast. I connect to writers who connect big ideas to the day-to-day. I’m drawn to internal life.
My favorite movie is Frances Ha. I think this is because I watched it when I was the same age as the main character. I too was on the exit ramp from both young adulthood and the borough of Brooklyn. I could listen to Greta Gerwig talk about her writing process all day. She writes through a spiritual lens. She needs to be on the podcast On Being. Krista Tippett, if you’re reading this!
For fiction, I love Alice McDermott. She’s great at capturing domestic life and so good at drawing out a lot from a little moment. I love that sort of writing.
Tina Fey is so economic with words. That inspires me. I have internalized the language of 30 Rock. I continue to quote it daily and I loved her book. I feel like she taught me to use three words instead of seven. I prefer language that is concise.
I tend to fixate on writers like I do pop songs. I can only like one or two at a time. For all of the writers mentioned above, I’ve read just about everything I could get my hands on.
4. What is the most surprising thing you have learned from writing?
I’ve learned that observing my own experience can save me from myself. I was recently in a stressful situation. I cracked open my Notes app to make some observations and this helped me to tap into a more mindful part of my brain. It took me out of the moment – just enough. I can use writing as an escape hatch from life, for better or worse. I try to make sure that I live first and write second, and not the other way around.
5. How did participating in a WGI (Writers Guild Initiative) workshop help your writing?
I learned that there are other people interested in the things I’m interested in. Before I attended the WGI workshop, I had over-corrected my earlier tendency to write towards publishing and my work became something I was just doing for myself. I was navel-gazing, but it was helpful for me. The workshop connected me with people interested in the things I am. I could have talked to those nice people all day about my little catholic gay boy obsessions. They responded to my work and I responded to theirs.
It made me feel the benefit of writing for/with someone else. I was nervous about sharing the piece I wrote for Outreach, but I loved getting feedback. I was surprised to hear from people in other continents who related to the content and from people in my own world who connected with it in ways I hadn’t imagined. Now, I enjoy writing as if I’m in conversation with a reader.
6. How do you juggle writing with everything else?
I have found that I do my best writing when I’m not in front of the computer. There’s too much pressure at a desk. I write best when I’m in the car or waiting in line, so I’ve learned to put my Notes app to work. I jot down my ideas on the go and then distill them later. For my own sanity, I spend an hour each morning in silence staring out of my window with a coffee. I usually try to give shape to those scribbles then. Writing really is rewriting.
7. Any advice, tips, resources or guidance you’d like to share for someone who wants to write?
I love listening to other writers talk about writing. I think it was Anne Lamotte who I heard on a podcast, saying something like – “you just have to do it.” No amount of brilliance can beat just doing the damn thing over and over again. Once I accept that, I overthink less and just focus on showing up.
